Episode Transcript
Yaroslava Neledva 0:00
Something about this is really hurtful. It's really hard and sometimes, and that's just alright, because that's what's trauma is you need to accept it.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 0:30
This podcast shows that Ukraine is not what foreigners see on television. Together, we will break all the stereotypes about Ukrainians so that when the flag of Ukraine is lifted, anywhere in the world, everyone will know Ukraine and its unique culture because today, Ukraine has a dynamic new generation that will change the world. Hello, my name is Aziz and I have a deep connection with Ukraine. My grandfather volunteered in 1987, to help liquidate the Chernobyl chemical radiation because he believed in humanity, he was a real hero for me. And even though he struggled with cancer after that, for the rest of his life, he always told me many great things about Ukraine, and its people. Then from 2018 to 2019. For two years, I began working with UNICEF in Ukraine to help build orphanages for Ukrainian children. And thank you all so much for the support. More than 265 people participated in this project for Ukraine, from the Vice President of the Holland modeling group, to the Vice Chancellor of the ugcc church, to the president of the Erasmus student network give to the President of the World Trade Center give to students from the FLEX program, Ukraine, Global Scholars, United World College, Harvard, and the London School of Economics to the United Nations, to interns at the Ukrainian parliament, and the Canadian Parliament to top 1% students in Ukraine. But not only then, this project is for all Ukrainians, from all backgrounds. So if you wish to participate, send me a message on Instagram at Azeez dot future and join the telegram channel. Give future My goal is to make interviews with hundreds of Ukrainians and the world is listening. This podcast is already top 50 In the United Kingdom, France, Switzerland and Monaco top 25 In Austria, Germany, Canada, Russia and Poland, top 15 in Australia, Italy, Spain, and Dubai and top 10 In Norway, Sweden, the Netherlands, South Korea, Singapore and many other places because this is now officially the number one podcast on Apple about Ukraine. Together we will break the stereotypes. Together, we will help all other countries discover and respect the greatness of Ukrainian people. And this good reputation will support the development of Ukraine, creating more opportunities for every Ukrainian to have a better life. So let's begin. My guest today is Yaroslava nearly Advan Yara is a student of Veterinary Medicine at the agrarian University in Odessa, and work in the veterinary hospital. Yara is also an artist who rose to order and a freelance model, Yara How are you today?
Yaroslava Neledva 4:07
Hi. I'm okay. Thank you so much. Thank you for this opportunity for me to participate in such project. Thank you.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 4:17
You're welcome. And I'm really happy, glad and honored to have you here. And I want to express and explore and discover more about your personality. So if you were to describe yourself as a person, what would you say about yourself?
Yaroslava Neledva 4:38
I can say that I have so much things going on inside because I can tell you so many things and stories because I have some I had some problems behind my in my tests and that's because I think I am really interesting person Since you can talk to me in hours, and I always will find what to say. So
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 5:08
thank you. And actually, yes, I agree that people who had problems in their path to become much more interesting and build character, compared to people who maybe had good luck for a while and don't understand what it is to be challenged deeply. So let's begin with this emotionally. Are you a highly emotional kind of person. And I don't mean drama queen, but maybe you are, I don't know. A highly logical
Yaroslava Neledva 5:41
and really highly logical person, I think I have PTSD. And that's why I can say that I'm really drama queen or something. But I can be really emotional sometimes. But I do not tell about these kind of things to other people. Like when I feel bad or something, I like to sit down, watch some pain, drink tea, and just chill out. Because it's, it's really interesting topic like mental health, you know, people, I'm really glad that people now talk about this so much. It's really amazing, because I remember times when leaving with, even with depression, was like, people were like, Oh, my God, why are you saying this? Every everyone has a depression in my time. But it's it's not like that. And I'm really glad that people now understand this problem.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 6:42
I agree with you. And let's explore the nature of PTSD even more in a way that can communicate it and explain it to the listener, how is it to have the challenge of PTSD in your life? How is that life? What problems does it raise that people maybe are not aware of?
Yaroslava Neledva 7:06
You know, I have noticed that people asked me these questions so much that I always know I know what to answer. So, you know, living with PTSD is really difficult. And many people ask me these questions, but I don't really know. I'm just used to it. At first, you ask yourself questions like, What is wrong with me what's happening, it's really scary at first time. But over the time, you still try to accept it, because it's uncurable. And you have to just accept it. Or you can have flashbacks, and all of this stuff that people like, oh, I have a flashback. But that's, that's not that easy. You can just walk down the street and watch. I don't know, listen to some music or something. And it can bring you to the past that cost to you this traumatic experience. And that's like, what it is living with PTSD. Also, you have some problems with anxiety and panic attacks. But that's, that's not always the same thing.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 8:25
Thank you. And I won't summarize that. Because otherwise, it's not good for your mental health to be reminded of it, but do you express some of that frustration or pain or energy? In your art?
Yaroslava Neledva 8:42
Yes, of course. Of course. You know, I, I can say that, it seems to me that I have been drawing for about eight years now. And for six of them, I have been drying digital works. And it's pretty hard to say exact date. So because there were times when I didn't draw for months. But yeah, I think that creativity is kind of a pain reliever, as something that can help distract me for at least a couple of hours. And I really respect people who put their soul into creativity. It's always really amazing and touching works that inspire to make more and not only people who do art, too, it's for all of us. You can it's like, not random do music or something you just will be really inspired to do like, I don't know, to make breakfast, to go down the street to listen to music. It's always like that.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 9:49
Tell me more about the process of inspiration that happens to you and that may be inspires many of your art pieces.
Yaroslava Neledva 10:01
I like the old drawings, like Michelangelo and Aldous. That's not what you will see in my works, I think. But sometimes I draw when I feel anxiety, and it really helps me not only with anxiety, but with ideas, sometimes I don't have the exact idea. And in that moment, I just put my feelings into it. Because drawing is generally quite difficult. But it's more like, morally hard. I think for me, especially art is a really like pain reliever. I also do music, and I write poetry and all of this stuff. But drawing is everything for me. So
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 10:52
when you draw, do seem to have some features that you express again, and again, like a specific pose, or a special specific facial expression, or a glow in the eyes, or sadness, or color, or black and white, or some theme that tends to really express your soul more than any other,
Yaroslava Neledva 11:17
I think it's more to expression on the face. People used to told me that all of my works, almost everyone had this kind of sadness. But for me, it's not like sadness, because sadness is not only the face of the expression, it's everything in the whole piece. And sometimes I can put not only sadness or something I can put even work things into this piece. I think it's really hard question, because everyone will see what they want to see. And for me, it will be happiness for someone that will be sadness. So I think it's really hard to answer correctly.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 12:07
Thank you. So if I heard you in the right way, the way that people seem to react or say about your pieces is that the facial expression is sad. But to you sadness is not in the facial expression. And you can put many more emotions and details than sadness in it. But each person will see whatever reflects on their own vision of art. Is this correct?
Yaroslava Neledva 12:40
Yeah. But that's not only depends on what they feel inside of them, like people can see just, they can just look at the picture and not try to understand what does it mean? What does the whole picture mean? So I think that's a problem also in this that people don't try to understand the art.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 13:06
Thank you, people, some people don't try to understand the art. But to take the superficial rather than going deeper into it. Is this right? Yeah. You pay attention to people's facial expressions everywhere you go.
Yaroslava Neledva 13:28
Not that much, I think. But sometimes when I sit alone at home, and I watch some movies or something, I can just draw, like stops somewhere, and draw the moment and the facial expression. And it helps a lot.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 13:47
Thank you. Do you feel that maybe it was more of a gift that you had your life experience in order to have your own unique, creative, unusual out of the box take on things? Or do you sometimes wish it was totally different? And that you are just a normal person, quote, unquote, you know,
Yaroslava Neledva 14:17
it's so hard to answer this question because, you know, I don't I can't say that I really enjoy my life every day. And I think nobody can. But the thing that I realized over the time that I spent with my mental health problems and all of this, I realized that I accept it, and I really glad that I had what I had. Even if I had so many problems. It's you know, how you live your life, as a sentient being is perhaps more rare. live on 10 What purpose dos? Does life itself serve? Guess you don't really you don't really need to sit here and say, I'm so glad that I had these problems. First. You just need to accept it. And it's even more important, I think, than just think about how good it was to have problems. So I think it's Yeah,
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 15:29
I like what you're saying. So it's the way you live your life. And the purpose you create for yourself is much more important than being a victim, or either way, either a positive victim being glad for good luck, or a negative victim, being sad for bad situations, is this correct?
Yaroslava Neledva 15:54
Everyone is a victim. Everyone is a victim every day, we have problems every day. And it's just depends on how you see yourself. If you see yourself as a victim, like every day, you will be a victim. I really believe that in world we have like two places, the one who does some who feels like a victim, and the one who will make you feel like a victim, and you need to choose who you are every day.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 16:27
Thank you. But Did I understand you correctly? It either we make ourselves feel like a victim or someone else will try to make us feel like a victim? Is this what you said?
Yaroslava Neledva 16:40
Yeah, that's just how I see it. And I don't think that it sounds like normal. But for me, it's, it's like this, I think there's that's just the meaning of life. You need to choose to be a victim, or to be the one who will make someone feel like that.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 17:07
Thank you, that's with people. Tell me about your relationship with animals.
Yaroslava Neledva 17:15
I really love them. Because I, I work in at the vet hospital. But sometimes it's quite difficult when it comes to the work.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 17:27
Tell me more about them. Do you sometimes or often prefer animals to humans? How is how do you view them? Are they to you like pure spirits? Are they to you a relaxing source? What is it?
Yaroslava Neledva 17:44
It's really relaxing to work with animals, but sometimes it's really stressing. Because morally, it's really hard work. You know, but when you really brief it, and when you get sucked in, you really can't stop, like helping. And I really love animals, I love to work with them. Sometimes, of course, you will be in this situation with that really scary dog that will bark at you every time when you walk in. But still, I think it's it's just the reason why we love them. They're unpredictable and predictable to for me actually.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 18:30
Isn't life that way, both unpredictable and predictable. In the sense that change is always going to happen. Not always positive change. But we don't know exactly what will happen.
Yaroslava Neledva 18:45
Of course we're not if we can understand what will be tomorrow. It's not really interesting. You know?
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 18:58
Can you have deep relationships with and friendships with people? Or do you always feel there will be something they cannot understand about you?
Yaroslava Neledva 19:11
I don't think about it. If people don't really care, can't really understand me and what I do. I don't think about it just I think it's okay we cannot understand someone like really understand, you will just see something that you want to see, of course again, but the real things you will not see until the end so I think it's normal.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 19:42
Thank you. I'm returning to veterinary medicine. How was the decision or the story of you choosing this field? And maybe not like art school, or studying to become an art critic or something like that
Yaroslava Neledva 20:00
I never wanted to, like, draw. No, no, actually, I wanted to go and be like Illustrator or someone like that. But I felt like, I don't really need a degree for that, because I was drying for the order for a very long time. But I just choose that I need a degree that will help me even if I would not be able to draw. So that was my decision. And also, I think that drying is really cool. And you can make money out of this, but you still need a degree that will help you in any way.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 20:52
What do you do when you have a drawing to order? But you don't feel the inspiration?
Yaroslava Neledva 21:01
Oh, it's really hard question like, because it's, it happens sometimes now. And in that moment, I just say it, try to ask the person who ordered it. Like, what do you want to see? What kind of character is it? If I see some parallel lines in this character with some character that I know, I try to visualize the art. And also the music really helps.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 21:38
Thank you. Tell me how do you experience music? You as an artist? Do you see it like colors and shapes and facial expressions or energy in your body? Or some like situations that you imagine, as you hear the song or the melody? How do you experience it inside,
Yaroslava Neledva 22:04
I see the situations, I always wanted to make a video clip or something that will be drawn. And that's just really interesting experience. Sometimes they listen to music, and I see really see some colors blowing out. Sometimes I see something like notes. I don't know how to say it correctly, but I just see the lyrics that write it down in some kind of notebook. Sometimes they see it like a video, or something like this, like a trailer or something.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 22:51
That's very interesting. And since you write poetry, how does a poem begin forming in your mind? Is it some words come to you? Do you see it like a trailer or similar way that you experience music? Or you see it in some imaginary notebook? And you copy it down? Or how is the process of you inside creating a new poem?
Yaroslava Neledva 23:19
I write bombs, like not that much. But I think what really helps me is, again, my anxiety and all of this and I feel really anxious and bad or sad or something, I just have some quotes in my head that I need to write down and make something out of them. And after that, I will think about I will make art out of it like the drawing or something or I will make a poetry or maybe I will make a music because sometimes I struggling with all of this. But it it really helps me and poetry is something that I I was doing for so long. Like I cannot even remember how how long can I do this like for 14 years? And I really like that. I didn't stop even if I had some problems. People was telling me that like what are you doing this this? Too much time? You know, but I like it. That's what I didn't stop.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 24:40
Thank you. Then if I understood correctly, are all kinds of it is a way to cope with anxiety and some slips in mental health. Is this
Yaroslava Neledva 24:54
right? Yeah. Yeah, that's right.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 24:57
Well, what you do recommend Maybe some people who say they are depressed or feeling stuck because of the pandemic, you know,
Yaroslava Neledva 25:07
at first, I think it's really important to go to the doctor, to the psychiatrist or something, because you cannot solve some problems on your own. That's the common problem. But I can say that, just don't, don't think about it that much. You can think that the world is no falling apart, and all of this, but everything will be okay. In one day, even if it's bad for many years, or you can you can think that all of your life, it has to be that bad, but it will be okay in one day. So just think about it. And everything will. I don't know how to say it correctly. I just wanted I just so emotional about this topic. So yeah.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 26:12
That everything's gonna be all right.
Yaroslava Neledva 26:16
Maybe it will, maybe not, it doesn't matter, because everything depends on the person. And you need to not only sit here and think that everything will be okay, but do something. And it's really painful to think about it sometimes. Because you can feel like, you cannot do anything with this feeling. But sometimes you just need to do because nobody will.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 26:48
It sounds to me, like Act, which is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, where instead of trying to change your emotions, or mood or how you feel, you simply understand your values and you act towards them no matter how you feel. Is this really what you do?
Yaroslava Neledva 27:09
Yeah. Because you don't need to hide your feelings. You don't need to hide your emotions, you need to understand them. Because if you will not understand them, who will. If you will hide your emotions, it will be really hard to understand yourself.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 27:34
Do you feel you understand yourself?
Yaroslava Neledva 27:40
Yeah, in some kind of way, but not on the 100% No, no, no, I have some things that I even I cannot understand correctly. And I think everyone has,
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 27:58
don't you feel that life will be very boring? If you understood yourself? 100%
Yaroslava Neledva 28:07
maybe it will? Wait, maybe not, we will never know. Cuz we will never understand ourselves 100% There's always amount of percent that you will never, never understand. Never, never. And nobody will. Cuz everyone has this kind of things. That. That's like, I don't know, like a mystery like a puzzle. And one part of it, you will never know.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 28:41
Thank you. Is there some character from a book or a drawing you made? Or a movie? Or something that you feel a part of you is similar to that character?
Yaroslava Neledva 28:56
Yeah, I have some of them. But oh, my God, I feel really attacked by this question. Because there's so many characters that I really feel like not loving them or something, you know, just I watch a movie or something. And when I see this character, I be like, yeah, I totally understand you, even if this character does something bad. I just sit here and try to understand why he does this. And I was like, Oh, well, that's that. That's totally understandable. All right. And I created some stories on my own. And I have some characters of mine, my original characters that I'm really I really loved them because it's It helps me express myself to.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 30:03
I like that. And you say you're attacked by it. So is it like a little bit of a secret? Those characters? Do they tend to be people who have some kind of trauma or anything like that?
Yaroslava Neledva 30:17
Yes, they have traumas. And you know, my favorite, one of my favorite characters had really big trauma that helped him to carry himself. It's not like he had some kind of situation that really traumatized him. And after that, he was like, Well, that was a really hard think. But after that, I accept it, and everything will be okay. No, it was a really long story. But I really enjoy how characters in the movies how they are, try to express their emotions, because it can be like, too much not like in it will be in life. And that's what I really enjoy.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 31:19
What do you believe, is the nature of drama? I know it's, I mean of drama. Drama, what do you feel happens, that creates trauma, and what is trauma, like some people dependent, you can go to psychiatrists, or you go to those new age, people who say, actually, trauma is negative energy, and it needs to create more negative energy to grow in the world. And therefore, it will just circle and look to either hurt people and make them victims, like you said, in order to grow and double, or at least find people who are similar. And therefore it feels not alone. And good energy is also the opposite, and is trying to grow and there is like a fight between them for balance. Or it's simply that there is a human, something happened that is too strong for them. And therefore they feel violated in a way that they cannot trust reality, and therefore, they need to work in it in a way that makes them feel safe. But it's not a way that corresponds to reality, which ends up being the different thing, and that is trauma. What do you think? What are your thoughts about it?
Yaroslava Neledva 32:47
You know, fighting is a really good word for this. It's really philosophical question, I think. Because the trauma is not something that I can express, or just tell what it is. For me, for me, it's something that happened to you, and you just cannot accept it. And you cannot do any, like anything with this memories, because trauma is memory. It's it doesn't happen. Like it's not happening right now. It happened in in the past. And for me, the trauma is really fighting before, like in some kind of way that you are fighting with yourself, with yourself in the past. And sometimes people say that you cannot win, because the trauma is something that causes more trauma can cause more trauma, and this is, this is what it is. And I had the trauma that made more trauma. That sounds so so funny to me. Sorry. And I really think that trauma is a fighting, a real fighting, but you will win every day if you will be alive.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 34:25
Thank you. Well, some other people say in the end, we all die. Doesn't matter what we do in between what we do is what makes us feel most happy or what we want in our heart. Because people who are afraid to fail well we all die at the end. So the only risk in life is trying to stay safe because there is no safety. Really. What do you think about this?
Yaroslava Neledva 34:56
There is really no safety net Every day is a fighting. And, you know, people who struggle with anxiety and all of this will say that every day, you think about, like, what happens when I die? But nothing really happens. You. No one knows. And it doesn't really matter. I don't really like this kind of thoughts that we will die anyway. So I need to do everything that I want, because that's true. Yeah. But in some kind of in some way, I think that you just need to leave not only how you want to live, but also how it will help you. Cuz hell, I don't know how to say nothing, nothing that will help you is equals something that will make you happier or something like this.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 36:09
What do you believe about life in the way that you believe in destiny? Do you believe in fate? Or that it doesn't exist? It's all random.
Yaroslava Neledva 36:20
It's all random. I believe in humanity. I believe that people create everything around them. I can say that we have even karma or something like this. Because everything that happens, it's yeah, it's unbalanced. But sometimes how I see it, sometimes there is no balance at all.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 36:48
If we are responsible for everything, then want people who have trauma feel that their fault.
Yaroslava Neledva 36:57
Yeah, people with traumas, they really think that everything is their fault. But I want to say that I talk about people with traumas that didn't really try to cure themselves.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 37:16
Is it possible to cure trauma?
Yaroslava Neledva 37:21
Not cure, I think I but set in some kind of way. Yeah. You just can leave with this, you can understand that it happened and why it happened. I'm not, say a psychologist or something. But I also try to understand what happened, why does it happen? Something about this is really hurtful. It's really hard. And sometimes, and that's just Alright, cuz that's what's trauma is, you need to accept it. Not I mean, not, you don't need to sit here and think about it every day. Just Just accept it.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 38:18
In addition to the Imagine, you could give advice to humanity in the world, that you learned about life, and you believe they should understand what would be that piece of advice or deep lesson.
Yaroslava Neledva 38:36
The past, your past is your God, and you need to understand it. I think that the common problem that people have, that you are, don't try to understand your past. And that creates the problems now, and problems in future. So I just want people to really understand themselves, understand, maybe other people in that. If you understand yourself, you will understand other people in some case. And also I think people need to believe in the past in their past, because past is really helpful sometimes.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 39:28
Thank you, understanding the past, but some people argue and say, it's all random. There is nothing to understand about the past, every moment and you can decide to become someone else. And the idea that you are you is an illusion. So you can just let go, forgive, forget and start a new page as any person you wish to be. Do you agree with this or What are your thoughts?
Yaroslava Neledva 40:01
I think that yes, but still you cannot create yourself like a new person. It's not possible because it's not only. But inside what in your head. We were born like this. It's not only in your head. It's your whole body's physical human. And you cannot, you can change your hair, you can change your voice, you can change the way you talk, but you never change the way you think. At least if you had a trauma or something like this, it can change you. But still, in not that way.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 40:46
If trauma happens, and it changes people in a way that makes life more difficult, and some people might call it negative, is it possible for something to happen as quickly? And to change people somewhere in a positive way? And their personality? Totally. Because why is negative so easy, but the positive so hard?
Yaroslava Neledva 41:10
It's not hard. I think it's just something that we see, every day, we everyday see something positive? Also we see something negative. But if you will see, I don't know we'll see the dog that will just that will came to you. And you will be Oh, you're so you're so cute. And all of this is that's one situation. But if you will see the dead dog on the street, that will be another situation. I think that's just how life is.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 41:53
Thank you. And why do you choose to live in Odessa? While you could live anywhere else in the world? What keeps you there? Or what fascinates you about that city?
Yaroslava Neledva 42:08
It's really strange answer but my past. I think I had so many stories here going on. So many drama. So many cool things that I like to remember. And I think that's the that's the answer. I just love a desk the way it is in my heart. The way how I see it the way how it created myself.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 42:43
What are your future dreams? Or do you want to maintain the way you are as long as possible?
Yaroslava Neledva 42:53
I don't really know how to answer this question because I have dreams. But I won't tell you. But still, I really like the way everything is right now. But still, I I want more how everyone does. And I just want to be the better version of myself.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 43:19
Thank you. Honestly, it was such a great conversation. For you even more. Is social media good for you? Or does it mess with your mental health?
Yaroslava Neledva 43:36
It messes with my mental health sometimes, but I don't try to say it in the Instagram. Every minute. I write I like to read books on my telephone or something. But yeah, I think that it helps because you can find new friends. But for me, I can live without it.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 44:07
Thank you, Uri. It was a privilege and honor and the great time and if people want to follow you on social media, what's the best one to go to as well as Can you speak about your art? If people want to order or to check it out? How is the process what to do?
Yaroslava Neledva 44:31
If you really like my art you can just follow me and watch me upload it every time if you'd like to order i i don't really make orders right now. But if you want you can just write me in the direct and I will answer to you. But I think it the first place for me is just to make people Happy watch my art and to make them feel emotions feelings when they look at my pieces.
Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 45:11
Thank you Yara. It was such a great episode and I wish you a great day. Thank you.
Yaroslava Neledva 45:19
Thank you so much. It was an honor
